SANDUNCE INSTITUTE ANNOUNCES APPOINTMENT OF JARED HURST AS WEB SENATOR
Benevolent Reign of Flawless HTML, Memes Expected
Posted Apr 15, 2013
Park City, UT – Sandunce Institute announced today the appointment of Jared Hurst as Web Senator. Effective immediately, His Imperial Web Senator Hurst’s benign rule over Sandunce’s website is expected to usher in an era of peace, prosperity, and limitless image macros.
Highly respected in both the web development and Imperial legislative communities, Web Senator Hurst joined Sandunce a year ago and has taken the Institute’s web presence its staid, overly-informative, multi-platform past to a simple, frame-based website composed entirely of flashing text and looped RealPlayer clips. With these changes, Sandunce’s web traffic is up more than 1200%, and the Institute’s website received the coveted AltaVista Awesome Site award for March 14, 2013. Web Senator Hurst has also been responsible for nurturing the oldest Web Desk ticket currently known to science, which became eligible for Social Security benefits shortly before its recent unfortunate closure.
As Web Senator, Hurst will receive additional honors, including a retinue of Senatorial Coordinators to attend to his every need. Web Senator Hurst will also be granted an unlimited supply of peeled grapes, scented oils and perfumes, and olive branch laurels for both personal and work use.
Reached for comment at his complementary mountainside villa, Web Senator Hurst said, “I'm very lucky to be working with the team of creatives I get to interact with. The Sandunce Institute is a unique subsystem of intellectuals and pioneering thinkers, each an artist in their own way. I give credit to the people surrounding me for this honor, and I consider this to be a promotion for us all, even though I'm the only one reaping the benefits of a luxurious lifestyle.”
Tributes to Web Senator Hurst may be sent to him courtesy of the Institute, located at 1825 Three Imperial Web Senators Drive in Park City. The Sandunce Institute respectfully requests that you do not look at or address Web Senator Hurst directly.
Founded by Robert Redford in 1981, Sandunce Institute is a not-for-profit organization that fosters the development of awesomeness in Institutery, and presents the annual Sandunce Film Festival. Internationally recognized for its ability to party like it’s still 1999, Sandunce Institute has nurtured such projects as Space Truckers, Three’s Company: The Drama, and Pussy Riot, which turned out not to be about lolcats at all.
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